On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water skiing with some new friends. I hadnt skied in a while, and as I floated in the water with long pieces of wood strapped to my feet, heres what I remember thinking: I wonder if I remember how to do this. Will I be able to get up? How soon will I crash? The rope tightened and I got up like Id been doing this for years, began to ski and sure enough, the next thing I knew - crash - face full of lake. Here comes the point of the story - As I floated in the water, waiting for the boat and the rope to come back around, I realized that the only reason I had crashed was because I had expected to crash. The Power of Expectancy The power of expectancy shapes our lives. Ive found that most of us have either a negative expectancy (things wont work out) or a positive expectancy (things usually work out). There doesnt seem to be a middle ground. Expectancy controls what we focus on, and what we focus on usually comes about. Eeyore Expectancy I call people that always focus on the negative Eeyores. For those of you who do not have kids or dont remember the story, Eeyore is a donkey in the Winnie the Pooh story that mopes around, head hung to the ground, moaning and groaning about life. The Language Its just too good to be true Im waiting for the other shoe to drop There are times when we are so sure that the other shoe is going to drop that we throw it down ourselves. If something bad can happen, it will, and it will happen to me. The Outcome The outcome of eeyore expectancy is usually fairly lousy. Even if good stuff does happen, its easy to miss with your eyes dragging the ground. You get what you focus on. Positive Expectancy Heres what positive expectancy is not: burying your head in the sand and saying everything will be all right. a glorified form of denial a new term for positive thinking I dont believe in positive thinking, at least not in the way its commonly portrayed. Example: while its pouring rain, walking through the rain saying Its not raining, its not raining, its not raining, will get you soaked! Positive expectancy IS an attitude. Its an attitude that goes something like, whatever happens, not only will we figure out a way to handle it, well also find a way to make it work for us. |
Home
