How to say no

Give yourself permission to say no. You are a big person now and have the right and ability to say no. You have always had it anyway. As a child you may not have been allowed to say no. You can and should now.

Decide you are going to say no and then as my dad always said "stick to your guns." Decide that you will practice saying no until it comes easily to your tongue.

Say it! - It really can be that simple. Have the words come out of your mouth. Practice until they feel familiar in your mouth.

If people have a difficult time hearing or accepting it when you say no remember that it is their problem and not yours. Use the old broken-record technique:"I understand what you are saying, and the answer is still no. Repeat as much and as often as necessary.

Train your no muscles to say no. Practice saying no to work out your no muscles. Like any muscle, it has be trained and use often.

Pay attention to how the world does not end, and how all your friends and family do not disown you because you said no.

You can survive and grow saying no.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com