Whether it is the time for finals or the final hours of married life, we all face times that give new meaning to the term stress test. There are numerous ways to deal with stress. Some can be dealt with mentally and others with diet and exercise.

I started researching the subject as a result of a study I read in the New Scientist. It reported that sex "cuts public speaking stress." The study by Stuart Brody, a University of Pailsey psychologist, actually has implications for many stressors we face.

The real world application poses a major problem. As far as finals go, more and more young people are maintaining their celibacy until marriage. If you are monogamous or facing the stress of a divorce, there are obvious reasons that alternatives are necessary.

As a Nurse I have witnessed the side effects associated with sex outside of marriage. The results are both life threatening and life complicating.

So what else can you do?

A better way to deal with anxiety associated with public speaking or any life challenge is through mental, physical, and dietary preparation.

Consider two examples.

Take a look at EMI.

Eye Movement Integration (EMI) is perhaps one of the most effective methods of stress reduction and performance improvement available to our minds.

Simply face your head straight in front of you and don't move. Now look at and track your eyes as though they were following the lines of an imaginary Z that extends to all four quadrants of your visual field. Then trace a box around the Z.

Repeat this eight times slowly and consistently.

Many will comment they notice a sensation upon doing it the first time.

That sensation was, in simplest terms, the left and right brain connecting with each other. It does not hurt. It just feels like a sensation.

Stress causes a loop of thoughts that re-play over and over like a broken record or a CD with a scratch that prevents the mind to do what it needs to do.

EMI stops the skip allowing the brain to progress into problem solving mode automatically.

Negative Emotions vs. Positive Emotions

This one fact needs to be remembered. If applied in your life, it can change the way you feel about things. It is the most important aspect of practicing safe stress.

Negative emotions are preceded by negative thoughts.

This is important to know because negative emotions like anger, fear, and anxiety can decrease your ability to solve problems, make decisions, and reason on things.

The first step, eliminate or replace the negative thoughts.

You can help your roommate and friends do likewise.

If you find yourself or someone near you using emotion draining words around you, stop them and say, "It's not like you to..." then identify the action or attitude. It may take some creative thinking to be able to frame it as a truthful statement.

Do the same with your own mind. Frame everything you face as a positive experience and reap the positive emotions.

One person's failure is another's learning experience.

One person's loss is another's training.

It is up to you. How you choose to frame anything that happens to you, even if out of your control, can determine how you will feel. How you feel will determine how you deal with stress.

These exercises are better than sex in that you can do them any time of day or night by your self. They produce something within us that helps us to grow. Where ever we are and with what ever stress we face they are readily available.

May all your stress be good stress. If you're taking a final or speaking in front of a crowd, how ever you fare, may you fare well.