"To be or not to be, that is the question..." There's an interesting thing in writing. They say it's much better to show ideas than it is to tell them. That is, don't write "It was a scary dark night." Write, "Clouds covered the last vestiges of the waning moon, and a chill frost rose through the air. A heavy fog set on the ground obscured his feet, and the only sight to be seen were the wisps of his breath rising in front of the blackened landscape." The first example is a (written) verbalization that it's dark and scary. But you don't get a dark and scary vibe from it. The second never verbalizes it's dark and scary. Instead, it demonstrates simply by being dark and scary. This is a key part of your interactions with women. You want to demonstrate good things about yourself all the time. You can demonstrate good things about yourself through things like Storytelling, displaying humor, displaying intelligence. Being seen with another woman. Having one woman over to your place and she thinks she smells perfume, but isn't quite sure. Being busy and having a life. One girl notices other girls calling you, sees you with other girls who are "just friends". Things like this demonstrate good things about you, that you're a strong capable guy. On the other hand, it's universally bad to demonstrate you're clumsy, displaying a lack of intelligence and/or social intelligence, being cowardly, etc. Showing that you are extremely timid, seeing no one else wants you and that you have no chance with other girls, you're going nowhere in life... Now here's the kicker. Dark stormy night kicker. When you Verbalize, say, that you're something good, you're often demonstrating the opposite. "I'm really smart. I went to an Ivy League school." "I drive a really nice car." "I'm busy on Monday and Tuesday with important stuff, let's get together on Wednesday for two hours." "I am seeing a lot of other women right now." "All girls want me." "I make $X / year." "I'm a cool guy." "I'm really good at sex." "I'm really deep." "I look really sexy." These are all TERRIBLE verbalizations. But they're not bad qualities to demonstrate. Let her see that you're busy and interesting, intelligent, deep. Act like a good lover and a desirable man. The kind of people that say "All girls want me" in a serious tone come across insecure. But here's the crazy thing. You can jokingly sprinkle in little bad things about that aren't true. "I'm shy." "Girls don't really like me." If comments like that are obviously untrue, and said with a slight smile, she'll think you're kidding around. Verbalizing Low value. They must be obviously untrue. If you actually are shy, doesn't verbalize that you're shy. Just don't bring it up. You can also say comments that seem very dependent on her. "Baby, you're like the moon and the stars and the sun for me. Without you, there'd be no me." This is something you can verbalize if you're a cool, busy guy with a life. If you do that, she'll feel good. On the other hand, if you actually do demonstrate you're dependent on her, you want to stay away from this. It's the difference between what you say and what you mean. What you're telling and showing. Don't say, "I'm a cool guy that's a good lover." Demonstrate it. |
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