Disaster results when we see women trying to change a man's behaviour. According to evolutionary biologist Rosie Mestel, what women perceive as bad male behaviour (lying, cheating, ogling other women) is actually part of a biologically based prime directive to procreate as fast as possible. All the poorconfused thing is doing is behaving "naturally": trying to solve the age-old problem of passing on his genes before he croaks.

Therefore I ask you women out there --would you put a bird in a stream and expect it to fly? Perhaps that's why men see so many women as controlling, or even cruel.

The desire for commitment is another bad symptom that defies the laws of nature. According to University of Texas psychologist David Buss, "forever is a long time for a guy." A woman only produces twelve eggs a year, and each growing baby represents a huge investment of her time and energy. Men on the other hand have buckets and buckets of sperm so it is in their best interests to impregnate as many women as possible to increase their chances of reproducing themselves.

A long time ago, in the caves and jungles, a man would know when a woman was ovulating because she would, like chimpanzees still do, display her swollen red genitals to males. Women, don't do that any more, unless they're a lap dancer."

Apparently men stick around because subconsciously, they are trying to figure out when a woman will ovulate and release her monthly egg. The woman mistakes this hanging around for a desire to "commit" to her. Of course, the only commitment that may result is to an insane asylum. Whether they will admit or not, a male's primary directive is to impregnate somebody who is female --- you and whoever.

People in Paleolithic times didn't "fall in love." They were too busy. They fell into tar pits and drowned. By the way, it may also interest realmers to know that when it comes to sex "looks are everything." That's why men like to ogle Pamela Lee Anderson . Anderson s a perfect .07, which is the ratio that is arrived at when you divide her waist measurement by her hip measurement.

According to Devendra Singh, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin, this particular hip-to-waist ratio is the equation of "lust." Lust is a healthy state, as opposed to love which is of course a state of mental illness. Women with a waist to hip ratio of 1.0 or over or 0.6 or under are immediately kicked out of the gene pool, as the male's subconscious "discriminate breeder within" sees those women as either sick, pregnant or too old to bear their progeny. By the way, the doll Barbie, who's .58 wouldn't make the grade.

Many of you will protest these findings and insist that you can make up for your lack of physical beauty with personality, charm and talent. Sorry! According to Randy Thornhill of the University of New Mexico, when it comes to procreation, "beauty is everything. " Both men and women look for symmetry in a partner, as, a long, long time ago, in the jungle, asymmetry led us to believe that our partner was riddled with horrible parasites. Also, men prefer women with little chins because estrogen is involved with jaw development. Evidence of estrogen makes them go "Aha!

Fertility! An excellent place to deposit a seed!" Women especially complain that "he tells me he loves me, but he doesn't act like it." According to Buss, over the millenniums men have developed the capacity for deceitful smooth-talking to fool women, who have evolved inbuilt lie-detectors to counteract this problem. The male knows a woman won't sleep with him if he has intentions to run off afterwards, so he lies to her. That is why women spend so much time engaged in the do-you-think-he-really-loves-me routine with their girlfriends. However, men have evolved to think that they actually believe the lies they're spouting; he is sincere in the moment, that is -- until he gets want he wants.

Even more infuriating, at least to women, is the results of Buss's studies on post-coital attraction. Apparently, when asked how they felt about a partner after sex, most males said they were "less attracted" while most women said they were "more attracted". I guess Mom was right about saving it 'til you're married.

Love is the only disease where people actually seek out punishment. Unfortunately, the only cure for love is loneliness. So if you find yourself all alone this Valentine's Day, take heart. At least you're sane.