Communication is the key is maintaining a connection with your partner. Most of us think we know how to communicate and might even think of ourselves as great communicators. Talking does not equal communication. Talking, by itself, does not equal communication. Sometimes talking is just making noise with your moouth. Just because you know how to talk does not mean that you know how to communicate. Often I hear about an argument between couples where one takes the position - "Yes, I told you about planning to do that, we talked about it." At the same time, the other spouse is saying - "No, you did not tell me about that, and we never talked about it." The seldom used secret Do this one thing, and you will be communicating better than 90% of the couples out there. About the only strategy I have found that works with this situation is doing the opposite of that dangerous habit of assuming. Check it out Checking is a very powerful strategy. Don't assume you know. Check. Once I worked with a couple who almost broke up over thinking the other had stood them up at the movies. Each was sure about what time the movie stared. They watched the same movie, at slightly different times, in different theaters in the same complex. As the old saying goes, "It's not what you don't know that hurts you; it's what you know that is just not so." |
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