I once opened a press kit that mooed.

MOOED.

We kept the package around the newsroom for weeks, but never published the press release and professional photos wrapped inside.

Hey, it was cute. Probably expensive. Just one problem. I ran a local newspaper focused on local connections, and this had none.

In 20 years, I probably tossed upwards of 15,000 press releases. Even though the name of our community featured prominently in the masthead, scores of expensive media kits promoting people and businesses from everywhere you can imagine crossed my desk.

I decided if I ever ended up in the PR business, Id try to keep people from wasting so much time.

I started with Susan*, who came to me for help with marketing an educational toy. Shed been selling to day care centers, but one or two sets at a time barely covered the cost of gas.

She had a wonderful story, one that needed a larger audience and got it.

Even with a very limited budget, Susans product was profiled in community newspapers, a parenting magazine and a regional daily. Im not taking much credit; she did all the legwork.

I told her who to talk to, what to say, and how often to say it.

Its just plain silly to throw your PR blindly at an editor, hoping it sticks. Sure, you can e-mail every media outlet in the free world. It wont cost you a dime, and youll probably get exactly what you paid for.

Why waste your time, when you can invest it on the front end? Just find your connections and then give them what they want.

Start with a list of every place youve ever called home. Community newspapers, accessible through any search engine, would welcome news of your business and accomplishments. Be sure to mention your local connection in a cover letter.

Did you go to college? Send your alumni magazine a news note, then take one extra step. They often localize national stories with alumni interviews. Why shouldnt one of them be you? Contact the editor, establish yourself as a willing expert.

Your insurance provider, wholesale club, auto club and other groups probably publish member-focused magazines. Offer to help them out, as a source in your field. Or let them know how their business has helped yours.

All those editors still receive drifts of press releases. Still, you can shine through. I know you can, because Ive seen people do it. Heres how:

1. Create a press kit that includes a clear, well-written press release in long and short formats, and high quality photographs.

2. Dont forget the simple stuff, like affixing sufficient postage or including your contact information.

3. Contact the editor by phone three or four days after sending your information, to make sure it arrived and answer any questions.

4. Respect an editors time when you make your follow-up call, asking whether he or she has five minutes to talk.

5. Create a lasting impression with a snappy 30 to 45-second pitch about yourself, your product or service.

6. Keep a tone that blends enthusiasm, professionalism and courtesy.

Finally, remember this: All you can do is improve very long odds Editors are people first. They have personal problems and biases, just like everybody else.

Stay positive, patient, polite and persistent sooner or later, youll beat those odds.

And you wont need a lowing press kit to do it.